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The Sorrow You've Been Toting Around

by scooterbabe

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    Our first album on an orange music rectangle! Download code included. Five panel J-card with lyrics and liner notes.

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    If you live in Athens, GA and would like to pick it up with no shipping fee email scooterbabemusic at gmail dot com.

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1.
Four years is enough, right? I mean, it has to be. You’re not getting any less cynical staying where your roommates hate you with a worthless bachelor’s degree on the mantle. Six Month Pillow Fort was a start, but are you getting sick of your own goals when irony starts making you queasy and you’re only happy when you’re staying in? (This is where it starts to be too hard to breathe) You could learn from the ego death, you pretentious fuck. Net loss, good luck. I know I would lose by a landslide if your humble opinion counted. You’ll assure yourself that it does. Body tapers off into starless background broken up by buildings (High rise condos and CEOs. Suffer it for art too on the nose). (This is where it starts to be too hard to breathe) This is where it starts to be a blur of faces and black coffee. It’s getting too hard to breathe. You could learn from the ego death, you pretentious fuck. Net loss, good luck.
2.
Sermon 02:11
Growing’s always hard. It will bark at you until you carve your pathway through the dark, and it will always be this bad until it’s not. Best believe there’s still a part of me that burrows underground. I dig deeper now, more space for CDs. “How’s the city?” You just gotta go. And if you must let crushing sadness steer your life I’ll have you know that it’s so romantic. Hope you think so too. Hope you think so.
3.
Sick Spine 01:27
It’s fine, I’ll wait for my time. I’ll feign awake. I’ll let it happen. It just gets worse. I wanna leave this crooked body behind and just disperse. And like everything that piles on me, it’s not my fault - please don’t let it be me. It’s not me. Tonight I’m aching. Splayed out on what little ground I can find space for. I’m shouldering the cost so I can live how I see fit, hoping someday we grow out of this. And like everything that piles on me, it’s not my fault - please don’t let it be me. It’s not me. And I was filled with spite, so I stood in place. It left me apathetic, callous. I was a total waste.
4.
Albany weekend. Lips are chapped on your ride home. Rather watch TV with Stephanie and Dustin, please don’t die on this bus alone. Now you’re pacing your room, talking circles with her on the phone. You felt so obligated. Slipping too far into that dreaded mood. (Gory death scene) [I admit it] If we could separate this into trials… Erase the 890 miles… We’re not lucky enough to fall out of love Slipping too far into that dreaded mood. Before you knew it, you gave up on a half decade of dating.
5.
Voice Memo 01:18
You’re walking out on me. You’re super cool - I’ll never be cool enough. I’m only super lame. You’re leaving me behind. You wrote it down in your diary that I'm "just some silly guy ... never make it anywhere ... really just should die." Everybody hates me. Super lonely. Super duper duper lonely. Super lame and super uncool. Nobody even pretends to like me anymore. Everybody fucking hates me. Everybody thinks I’m really, really stupid.
6.
White dwarf, in your apartment lobby, I’m a dead planet being torn apart and I have to go. My inner critic got constructive - “It’s a little soon.” I know. Ignore those fawning-text, misguided ex-lovers and I’ll talk myself down. Late October, I came over. I should’ve warned you, nothing good can come of this.
7.
23, met my limits twice. I regret to say I’m 18 in my dorm room again living here (staying in). Distant buildings emitting a heavenly glow. Crossing the street, I always stopped to take it in on the way to Sunoco. And that’s what I called motivation ’til I hit my threshold. (We’ll learn to live here) Think of Scrabble games instead. Spill your coffee. Stain the bed. White sheets weren’t made to last anyway. If I can stay in here, I can stay in anywhere. We never finished our last game of chess. I love you more than you can guess. That’s why it’s over. I talk about strength - I learned it all from you. I was a high school loner with an ego to boot. I drove myself through college barely paying attention to the fact that we’re living off the backs of decisions that we’re often forced to make before we’re given the privilege to determine who we are or what we do to distinguish ourselves from the droves, if that drives you crazy. It drives me crazy, but it never bothered you.
8.
I tried to recognize that you were in pain from holding me up. I was slouched down further than I’ve ever been. Soon as you could stand up freely, you had to kneel to see me thrashing beneath the weight of it all. I saw the life leave your eyes. I’m sorry it defeated you, and I’m sorry that you’ll live with that forever now. The timing was hard. We were miserable before that night in the hospital. I’ll always care. I’ll always care. Oh god, I fear I’m the only one emerging from this thing still getting no sleep, still living transient by design. And I just need some time.
9.
Sarah 02:32
Sarah just realized the best day of her life was in the third grade when she wore glasses for the first time. She looked at the sky and she saw texture and it was all downhill from there as we watched 2015 go by in nearly 20-20 vision.
10.
Second guessing all the time. You’re the only constant, shining through the thick clouds enveloping my mind. Classrooms staring out the window to huddling in your room. Come on, let’s drop off together, reach for something special. The nerve. I’ve denied it for too long and burrowed underground. (I wanna be your beacon, absolve you of the sorrow you’ve been toting around,) kiss you in your parked car and fade into a starry background. (We’ll find a way out.) And when I’m bored will you say… “I don’t sleep when I’m thinking of you and I don’t sleep when I’m thinking of you.” (And I don’t sleep) Scooterbabe 2. When I’m bored, are you bored?
11.
I know you're right. I've been playing it safe my whole life. Been playing it safe my whole life. I wanna write your name across the sky in big clumsy strokes, kiss you in your parked car, grab the friends you like the most and get out of here. Perfect every text to you. Scratch 'em in drywall. I wanna buy all your favorite records and play 'em til they're mine too. I wanna write your name across the sky in big clumsy strokes.

about

Copious amounts of tea and setbacks were consumed while recording this album.

The instrumental at the end of "Sermon" is called "Scooterbabe Only" and it's dedicated to Sarah Mirza and Anthony Colombo.

The song titles have received the official Nathan Kerce Seal of Approval.

We should've named the album Ego Tripping at the Kroger Marketplace.

credits

released November 4, 2016

The Sorrow You've Been Toting Around
JJ Posway - guitars, lead vocals, synth, programming, miscellaneous
Evan Tyor - guitars, backing vocals, lead vocals on "Voice Memo," piano, organ, miscellaneous
Michael Buice - bass, final fantasy x on steam
Jesse Lafian - drums on 1-10
Grafton Tanner - drums on 11
Jianna Justice - backing vocals, violin
Alec Livaditis - cello
Sarah Mirza - trumpet
Daniel DeSimone - saxophone
Dafna Kaufman - spoken word

Recorded by Evan Tyor with assistance from JJ Posway at The Ranch in Winterville, GA and its various incarnations.
Mixed and Mastered by Jesse Mangum at The Glow.

Art by Lawson Chambers.

All songs Posway except
"Voice Memo" - Tyor
"Sick Spine" and "Whitedwarf/Late October" - Posway, Tyor, Buice, Lafian

Scooterbabe would like to thank (in alphabetical order): 1000 Faces Coffee, Alec Livaditis, Alex Laughlin, Anna Tyor, Brendan Boyle, Bri Aab, Brian Beverly, Cecile Duncan, Chelsea Warnick, Chris McFarlane, Chris Towler, Connor Dixon, Dafna Kaufman, Daniel DeSimone, Dillon McCabe, Drew Evans, Dustin Talmadge, Grafton Tanner, Jacob Chisenhall, Jesse Mangum, Jessica Wolf, Jianna Justice, John Swint, Jordan Posway, Kaldi's Coffee Roasting Co., The Kroger Marketplace, Lawson Chambers, Mike Albanese, Nathan Kerce, Orca Mug, Patrick Boyle, Rachel Scarbrough, Russell Koons, Sarah Mirza, Sasha Schilbrack-Cole, Scott Woodward, Sebastian Marquez, Shil K. Patel, Sombrita, Stephanie Talmadge, Taylor Chicoine, Walt Lilly and Zach Spires. We'd also like to thank our additional friends and family members.

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scooterbabe Athens, Georgia

scooterbabemusic (at) gmail.com

Decent band.

ATL/Athens

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