1. |
Starless Background
03:51
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Four years is enough, right? I mean, it has to be. You’re not getting any less cynical
staying where your roommates hate you with a worthless bachelor’s degree on the mantle.
Six Month Pillow Fort was a start, but are you getting sick of your own goals
when irony starts making you queasy and you’re only happy when you’re staying in?
(This is where it starts to be too hard to breathe)
You could learn from the ego death, you pretentious fuck.
Net loss, good luck.
I know I would lose by a landslide if your humble opinion counted.
You’ll assure yourself that it does.
Body tapers off into starless background broken up by buildings
(High rise condos and CEOs. Suffer it for art too on the nose).
(This is where it starts to be too hard to breathe)
This is where it starts to be a blur of faces and black coffee.
It’s getting too hard to breathe.
You could learn from the ego death, you pretentious fuck.
Net loss, good luck.
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2. |
Sermon
02:11
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Growing’s always hard.
It will bark at you until you carve your pathway through the dark,
and it will always be this bad until it’s not.
Best believe there’s still a part of me that burrows underground.
I dig deeper now, more space for CDs.
“How’s the city?”
You just gotta go.
And if you must let crushing sadness steer your life I’ll have you know that it’s so romantic.
Hope you think so too.
Hope you think so.
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3. |
Sick Spine
01:27
|
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It’s fine, I’ll wait for my time.
I’ll feign awake. I’ll let it happen. It just gets worse.
I wanna leave this crooked body behind and just disperse.
And like everything that piles on me, it’s not my fault - please don’t let it be me.
It’s not me.
Tonight I’m aching.
Splayed out on what little ground I can find space for.
I’m shouldering the cost so I can live how I see fit, hoping someday we grow out of this.
And like everything that piles on me, it’s not my fault - please don’t let it be me.
It’s not me.
And I was filled with spite,
so I stood in place.
It left me apathetic, callous.
I was a total waste.
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4. |
Deathscene/Half Decade
03:45
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Albany weekend. Lips are chapped on your ride home.
Rather watch TV with Stephanie and Dustin, please don’t die on this bus alone.
Now you’re pacing your room, talking circles with her on the phone.
You felt so obligated.
Slipping too far into that dreaded mood.
(Gory death scene)
[I admit it]
If we could separate this into trials…
Erase the 890 miles…
We’re not lucky enough to fall out of love
Slipping too far into that dreaded mood.
Before you knew it, you gave up on a half decade of dating.
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5. |
Voice Memo
01:18
|
|||
You’re walking out on me.
You’re super cool - I’ll never be cool enough.
I’m only super lame.
You’re leaving me behind.
You wrote it down in your diary that I'm "just some silly guy ... never make it anywhere ... really just should die."
Everybody hates me.
Super lonely. Super duper duper lonely.
Super lame and super uncool.
Nobody even pretends to like me anymore.
Everybody fucking hates me.
Everybody thinks I’m really, really stupid.
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6. |
Whitedwarf/Late October
02:55
|
|||
White dwarf, in your apartment lobby, I’m a dead planet being torn apart and I have to go.
My inner critic got constructive -
“It’s a little soon.”
I know.
Ignore those fawning-text, misguided ex-lovers and I’ll talk myself down.
Late October, I came over. I should’ve warned you, nothing good can come of this.
|
||||
7. |
Our Last Game of Chess
04:43
|
|||
23, met my limits twice.
I regret to say I’m 18 in my dorm room again living here
(staying in).
Distant buildings emitting a heavenly glow.
Crossing the street, I always stopped to take it in on the way to Sunoco.
And that’s what I called motivation ’til I hit my threshold.
(We’ll learn to live here)
Think of Scrabble games instead.
Spill your coffee. Stain the bed.
White sheets weren’t made to last anyway.
If I can stay in here, I can stay in anywhere.
We never finished our last game of chess.
I love you more than you can guess.
That’s why it’s over.
I talk about strength - I learned it all from you.
I was a high school loner with an ego to boot.
I drove myself through college barely paying attention to the fact that we’re living off the backs of decisions that we’re often forced to make before we’re given the privilege to determine who we are or what we do to distinguish ourselves from the droves, if that drives you crazy.
It drives me crazy, but it never bothered you.
|
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8. |
Kneel To See Me
02:12
|
|||
I tried to recognize that you were in pain
from holding me up. I was slouched down further than I’ve ever been.
Soon as you could stand up freely,
you had to kneel to see me thrashing
beneath the weight of it all.
I saw the life leave your eyes.
I’m sorry it defeated you, and I’m sorry that you’ll live with that forever now.
The timing was hard. We were miserable before that night in the hospital.
I’ll always care.
I’ll always care.
Oh god, I fear I’m the only one emerging from this thing
still getting no sleep, still living transient by design.
And I just need some time.
|
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9. |
Sarah
02:32
|
|||
Sarah just realized
the best day of her life
was in the third grade when she wore glasses for the first time.
She looked at the sky and she saw texture
and it was all downhill from there
as we watched 2015 go by in nearly 20-20 vision.
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10. |
Scooterbabe 2
04:16
|
|||
Second guessing all the time.
You’re the only constant, shining through the thick clouds enveloping my mind.
Classrooms staring out the window
to huddling in your room.
Come on, let’s drop off together, reach for something special.
The nerve.
I’ve denied it for too long and burrowed underground.
(I wanna be your beacon, absolve you of the sorrow you’ve been toting around,)
kiss you in your parked car and fade into a starry background.
(We’ll find a way out.)
And when I’m bored will you say…
“I don’t sleep when I’m thinking of you
and I don’t sleep when I’m thinking of you.”
(And I don’t sleep)
Scooterbabe 2.
When I’m bored, are you bored?
|
||||
11. |
||||
I know you're right.
I've been playing it safe my whole life.
Been playing it safe my whole life.
I wanna write your name across the sky
in big clumsy strokes,
kiss you in your parked car,
grab the friends you like the most
and get out of here.
Perfect every text to you.
Scratch 'em in drywall.
I wanna buy all
your favorite records and play 'em til they're mine too.
I wanna write your name across the sky in big clumsy strokes.
|
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